The Secret & To the Unseen Viewer

The Secret

Here is my Secret.
I want to submit - be made to surrender.
I want everybody to see, to watch, to witness,
my journeys, my suffering, my pain.
That instant when I have lost all sense of self,
of being, of me.

I am nothing – then I am truly free, 
released from life. I know the freedom, the joy,
the bliss it brings.
Everything becomes clear, 
my smallness, insignificance
in this huge overwhelming world,
yet inside I tower above it, I can see everything
these are the moments when I wake.
These are journeys that take us nearer something often lost, but essential.
To ascend through the rites of passage.
To transform our being into so much more
than the sum of our parts.


To The Unseen Viewer

When you see me in these pictures you see a flash
of the story inside my mind,
look hard and you will find all the clues. 
I feel like a child that has opened a forbidden wardrobe 
revelling in all the possibilities of my imagination. 
I walk through my dreams.
This is the hidden part of me.
Some I don’t even admit to myself.
Yet when I look they stare back at me.
She stares back some creature I have created.
They become the ultimate exhibitionism, an absolute submission.
Caught for all time, for all to see.
Once they believed that the camera could capture a soul.
Perhaps it can. 

I play these games with you, you the unseen voyeur.
You are my partner, lover, oppressor.
I will force you to step into my world.
When you look, you become guilty, 
you are the perpetrator sharing my desires.
You become part of my story,
because of what they stir in you.

So step up to my side show.
Come inside the theatre of my dark desires.
Come see my parts.
I am showing you all the scars that don’t show.
These are the marks of my life.